It says something when other people are only happy with you when you’re trying so hard to be someone you’re not. Its in the moment of realizing that you are so much more than other people’s expectations that your acceptance starts to kick in. Acceptance of yourself….reminding yourself that your opinion is what truly matters….the only one that matters. It’s then that you forget expectations, the standards of others, and the mold that people push you in to shape you into who they want you to be. It’s by not caring to constantly please others that life gets so much better!

Clearly I haven’t blogged anything for some time now….so it just seems appropriate that I restart my blogging by expressing my inner most thoughts. Something that really shows who I am as a person and to show my character at its best. 

I WANT A FRICKIN CHOCOLATE BAR. 

If I could go back and tell my younger self anything it would be to never apologize for who she is! To know that the person she will become is her own doing but the strength she achieves from her mistakes caused her to grow strong. I would tell her that for most of her childhood and her years before becoming a woman she will care about the worlds opinion of her and it will form her into a very opinionated and judgmental person. But not towards others….towards herself. I would tell her that there will be people in her life that will deceive her and make her feel a temporary love, it will cause her to question herself, her beauty, her value…..but in the end she will stop questioning and learn that the only way to move on is to define herself. I would tell her that she will become a person who is misunderstood, she will speak her mind and not keep quiet about her opinions. And I would tell her that despite all the growing she does there will always be someone there to tear her down. i would tell her that her journey will only make her stronger and eventually she wont be as concerned with the opinions of others like she used to be. I would tell her how proud I am of the person she will be come, and how theres few people that can survive the damage she will go through. Lastly I’ll tell her how loved she is and how in the end things will turn out the way they should. That she will be satisfied with the outcome of her life, and that all of the times she doubted was worth it because in the end she will be happy. 

If you never met me, never crossed my path, been apart of my life in any way, shape, or form……and you read my blog I’m pretty sure I could read your minds judgment on me. 

To me a blog is where you express. To most people they would say the same. It’s not everyday that I have the urge to express my happiness….but I’m realizing that I should! Most things I write about range from hurt to frustration….occasionally theres a happy ending story with a lesson learned squeezed in there somewhere……..

…..Speaking of which here’s my lesson learned. So much time can be wasted on the bad. The ugly. The negative. Have you ever wondered why people never took photo negatives and taped them on the wall? Cause they never expressed well enough, they never did the moment captured any justice. Its the final product… the picture itself…taken from something negative and turned into something worth sharing. Something positive, something beautiful! 

No promises that there wont be anymore raged or heartfelt novels posted on my wall BUT it’s a start. & every journey has a start…..whats gonna keep me going?…….not only does every journey have a start…. but every journey has a ending!